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When Friends Disappear: The Silent Journeys Abroad

It always starts the same way: one day, you’re catching up with an old friend over a meal, a call, or maybe you’ve simply been following each other’s updates on social media. Then, without warning, there’s radio silence. No casual chats, no news of weekend plans, just an eerie absence. And before you can fully process their absence, you’re scrolling through Instagram and there they are, standing in front of a snow-covered landscape, decked out in a heavy winter coat, smiling in the middle of some European city or a North American street corner.

You blink once. Twice. Your brain does a double-take. Wait… when did they leave?

In an era of hyper-connectivity, where we’re supposed to know everyone’s moves through social media updates, WhatsApp chats, and status notifications, it feels baffling when someone you know just disappears—only to resurface in another part of the world. It seems like, overnight, they’ve swapped the familiar heat and noise of your shared hometown for the cold silence of snowy streets in a distant land. But why do so many friends travel abroad without saying a word?

The Unspoken Plans

The first thought that comes to mind is that it’s deliberate. Maybe they didn’t want to share their plans. Maybe the process was more complicated than they’d anticipated. Or, perhaps, they feared that if they told anyone, it might jinx their opportunity. There’s an aura of uncertainty when it comes to securing visas, scholarships, jobs, or international work permits. For some, the chance to move abroad feels fragile, like a bubble that could burst if discussed too early.

A lot of the time, it’s not about secrecy but practicality. The process of moving abroad—whether it’s for school, work, or a new life—comes with its own set of challenges. There’s paperwork to be done, finances to sort, and countless “what-ifs” to manage. It’s an overwhelming, all-consuming task. During this period, friends may withdraw, not out of malice or secrecy, but out of necessity. They’re focused on making sure the move actually happens, one step at a time. Until they’re certain, there’s no point in discussing a half-baked plan.

Navigating the Fear of Judgment

Another reason some friends may keep their international moves quiet is the fear of judgment or unsolicited advice. When people announce their plans to travel abroad, especially in close-knit communities, everyone suddenly becomes an expert. The flood of questions and concerns begins: “Are you sure this is a good idea?” “What if it doesn’t work out?” or the dreaded “Why are you leaving? Don’t you love your country?”

For some, it’s easier to skip the drama and just leave without saying anything. They’d rather deal with the questions and commentary when they’re already established in their new environment, preferably with a photo of them standing confidently in the snow, a cup of coffee in hand, living the dream—or at least giving the appearance that they are.

The Sudden Reveal: A Snowy Surprise

When you finally spot that first image—the one with them bundled up in a thick coat, standing in a snowy foreign street—it’s surreal. They’ve made it. They’ve crossed oceans and borders, left behind the familiar, and embraced a completely new life. There’s snow, the kind of snow you’ve only ever seen in movies, making the scene all the more striking. It feels like they’ve entered a different universe, one far from your shared past.

Pic credits: Ig @sashabaiby

What’s funny is that the snow always symbolizes more than just a climate change. It represents a complete shift in their reality. Snow, for many of us who grew up in warmer climates, symbolizes distance, the ultimate sign that someone is far away. Your friend is now in a world of cold winters, unfamiliar cultures, and a pace of life that is entirely different. The image of them in the snow feels like a final confirmation: they’re living an experience you’ve only dreamed about, and they didn’t even tell you they were leaving.

The Complicated Emotions of Being Left Behind

There’s no denying that seeing friends in these far-off, snow-filled places stirs a complicated mix of emotions. You’re happy for them, sure. Who wouldn’t want to see their friends succeed, to see them thriving in a new environment? But there’s also the sting of being left behind. You wonder why they didn’t share their plans with you. You replay old conversations, searching for clues or hints that they were planning this big move. There’s also a sense of distance, not just physical, but emotional. Their world now feels very different from yours, separated not just by miles but by new experiences that don’t quite fit with your shared history.

It’s easy to feel hurt or confused when you’re left in the dark. But often, their silence isn’t personal. It’s about them, not you. The move abroad can be a deeply personal journey, one filled with uncertainty, fear, and ambition. Sometimes, sharing those feelings or that process can feel too intimate or vulnerable. Other times, they’re just caught up in the whirlwind of making it happen.

The New Chapter

Once the snow photos are out, the mystery is over. Your friend has moved abroad, and now the conversation shifts. You send a congratulatory message, maybe sprinkle in a few snow-related jokes, and wait for them to reply with tales of their new life. As they share stories of cold winters, cultural shocks, and new beginnings, you realize that despite the silence leading up to it, this is just the next chapter of their story.

Pic credits Ig @sashabaiby

And who knows? Maybe next time, you’ll be the one posting the snowy photos, standing in some foreign place, sharing the news with the same quiet simplicity: “New beginnings.”


In the end, friends moving abroad without saying anything may be puzzling at first, but it’s often a reflection of the chaotic, deeply personal nature of such a big life change. But one thing is for sure: whether its snow in Canada or cobblestones in London, life had a way of taking people on unexpected journeys. Some were silent about their moves, but their footprints—left in the snow of a faraway land—were unmistakable. It’s not about leaving people behind—it’s about stepping into the unknown, and sometimes, the quiet departure is the easiest way to do that.

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Charity Manga

Hi Rafiki. Charity Manga is a passionate storyteller with a love for capturing the everyday magic of Afrika's cultures, its people, and the little moments that make us laugh, think, and remember. She draws from lived experiences and shared heritage to tell stories that are both deeply nostalgic and refreshingly real. Through her writing, Charity hopes to bridge cultures, spark conversations, and share the humor, resilience, complexity, and beauty of Afrikan life with the world. She loves Africa deeply. And through these stories, she hopes you will too.

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